


You Only Remember the Good Things, Right?

by Thefandomwolf



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Dream Smp, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Post-Exile, Post-Manberg-Pogtopia War on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, TommyInnit Misses Toby Smith | Tubbo, please take these tags seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:42:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27953309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thefandomwolf/pseuds/Thefandomwolf
Summary: The heat of the nether was oppressive. The portal warps the people standing inside it, filling the air with distorted noises. The laughs of his enemies, and supposed allies, fade and then crackle back to life with a static filter as they leave the nether and enter the overworld, their voices now coming through the communicator in Tommy’s pocket. He stares at the purple haze surrounded by obsidian before turning away. Before him is the dark blackstone at his feet, and beyond that spewing, bubbling lava.Tommy thinks about his situation in the Nether. He finds a solution.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 169





	You Only Remember the Good Things, Right?

**Author's Note:**

> Take the tags as warnings, seriously. This isn't pretty.  
> This story is about a character in the Dream SMP, not the person playing him.  
> Some of these lines are taken directly from Tommy's stream "I'm actually exiled" on Twitch, others are not.

The heat of the nether was oppressive. The portal warps the people standing inside it, filling the air with distorted noises. The laughs of his enemies, and supposed allies, fade and then crackle back to life with a static filter as they leave the nether and enter the overworld, their voices now coming through the communicator in Tommy’s pocket. He stares at the purple haze surrounded by obsidian before turning away. Before him is the dark blackstone at his feet, and beyond that spewing, bubbling lava.  
He could never go back home. He could never again see the place where he made so many memories. Sapnap and Ghostbur excitedly talk about the shining tree standing proudly next to the community house. Christmas has always been Tommy’s favorite holiday. 

When he was a kid he would always beg his dad, Philza, to tell him what he had got him for Christmas. Every year his father would chuckle and pat his head, telling him to be patient and wait. It was a surprise after all, and the mystery was almost as fun as the revel. Tommy would pout and go stomping off, complaining about how stupid that was. His brother Wilbur would always eventually join him, slowly lowering himself to the ground next to Tommy. He wouldn’t say anything at first, just watch Tommy angrily play with his toys. He would smirk which always used to piss Tommy off, what the hell was he smirking about? Tommy knew the days leading up to Christmas would be better if he knew exactly what he was going to get, was Wilbur making fun of him? He would just be about to open his mouth to tell his brother off before Wilbur would treacherously whisper, “do you want to shake the gifts and see if you can tell what they are?” Tommy’s eyes would widen in glee and he nodded quickly before shooting off. Wilbur would chuckle and leisurely follow Tommy to the Christmas tree.

Christmas in L’Manburg was a bit different. Their first Christmas was after they gained independence, but they didn’t have much in the way of material items yet. But Niki had joined by then, and with her brought the smell of baked goods and the warm feeling of home. Wilbur had insisted on getting their own tree, and it had taken hours for them all to come to an agreement on which one to chop down. He remembers Fundy being nitpicky with all the decoration details, ‘the tinsel should go there, no we need another wreath, who placed a candy cane next to the snowman? It should be a snowflake! Come on people!’ He and Tubbo would snicker and move things off-center to aggravate him. The two trouble makers were in charge of decorating the tree. Tommy just haphazardly threw ornaments and lights on empty space but Tubbo placed everything with care. He would pick up an ornament and trace his eyes all over the tree until landing on what he thought was the perfect spot. Multiple times the spot was too high up for him to reach. Tommy would laugh at him before Tubbo would start glaring in return. He patted Tubbo extra hard on the back, “no worries big T, I got you, maybe one day when you grow up you’ll be as tall as me!” He half-yelled, half-laughed as Tubbo elbowed him in the side. The shorter would turn his head away so the taller wouldn’t see him smile, but Tommy did, he always did. Tommy eventually took enough breaths to calm down and place the decoration right where Tubbo wanted it. Tubbo’s eyes would shine in delight as it settled perfectly in the spot he chose. At the end of it all they would step back and admire their work, a hodgepodge of attention to detail, but shining and beautiful all the same.

Now he can see no lights, no carefully placed ornaments, no decorations displayed with joy, not with his family, and not with Tubbo. He never will again. Tubbo will probably never look at him again. Tubbo exiled him. His best friend in the whole world called him selfish, said he had to do what was best for the country. He said the discs don’t matter. He banished Tommy. 

He steps up to the edge of the black stone and peers down at the molten lava. He’s so damn lonely already. Sure Ghostbur is with him, sort of, but like the ghost said, that camp isn’t his home, it’s a vacation for the spirit, he still belongs to L’Manburg. He, on the other hand, is well and truly isolated from everyone. Ghostbur is just a reminder of everything he’s lost, of everything he couldn’t accomplish, and who he couldn’t save.  
It hurts. His heart hurts. Everything is just so much. He can’t stop thinking, can’t stop picturing Tubbo’s face as he sided with Dream and exiled him from his own country. Everything hurts. What did he do to deserve this? Dream was right, he fucked up and now he’s never coming back. He can never see his home, he can never be with Tubbo again. What’s the point. His legs feel weak. He’s tired, he wants to curl up in his bed. Not on the hard ground of a tent, but his own bed. It would be so easy, just a few seconds of free falling, and then it would be over. The lava would cover him and he might not even feel anything if he’s lucky. No more pain, no more fear, no more Dream tormenting him. No more dead brother that haunts him. No more unloyal dad and brother. No more exile. No more missing Tubbo. He picks up a foot and sets it over empty space.

A hand clasps around his shoulder and yanks him back, hard. Tommy stumbles backward, a shout of surprise escapes his lips. Dream’s tall imposing figure is angled towards Tommy. The blank white face stares at Tommy in question before a deep chuckle resonates from behind the mask. “It’s not your time to die, yet, Tommy.” 

“It’s never my time to die,” the boy says in a weary tone. Dream snorts and turns back to the portal. Tommy hadn’t even heard the man come back through, he had been too wrapped up in his thoughts. He can also now hear Sapnap and Ghostbur through the communicator again. 

“Aw, you look like a little angel on top of the tree,” Ghostbur croaks cheerily. 

“Now Tommy will always have a reminder of me,” Sapnap chuckles and some other noises of moving can be heard through the communicator, they must be coming back through. 

Tommy reaches down to his pocket and flicks the button to speak, “Hey Ghostbur?” 

“Hmm?” the spirit answers. 

“You can only remember the good things, right?” Tommy stares at the edge. Dream watches at him while standing next to the portal, waiting for his friend. 

“Oh yeah, not much but happy things!” Ghostbur’s soft, worn voice lights up, pleased to be talking about this topic. The telltale sound of warping reaches Tommy’s ears. “Why?” he asks merrily, his voice now echoing as he arrives in the Nether. Dream takes a step closer to Tommy but he’s too far away. 

Tommy takes two long strides to the edge and steps off. He hears screams. One, confused and afraid, the other angry and demanding. The lack of a third, softer, voice is painful. But it’s okay. It will all be okay. The hot wind rushes past his face and the sound of blood pumping fills his ears. His eyes are shut tightly, he doesn’t remember closing them, but maybe it’s easier this way. He knows it will all be alright if he can only remember the good things. Then, if maybe he’s like Wilbur, all he will remember is Tubbo. He smiles, that’s all he needs. 

Everyone across the server looks at their communicator as a new message pops up:  
“Tommyinnit tried to swim in Lava”


End file.
